What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
