I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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