She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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