FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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