Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
