talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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