IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
