How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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