First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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