At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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