Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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