Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
