My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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