Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
