If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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