3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
