You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
