thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
