Pants 0. Shit 1.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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