i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
