C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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