I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
