So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Drake has all the answers
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
