There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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