Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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