I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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