Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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