break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
