Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Drunk is a universal language darling
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