Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
