Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
