Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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