Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
