I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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