I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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