Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
