If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
