i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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