When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
