at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
