jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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