Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
birth control should be required to get into college
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
