I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
