As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
