VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
