u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
