who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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