help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
