took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
