Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
