Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
