There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
