i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
