yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
